probably a long one.
today. not too bad. happy. I FINISHED MY RP REQUIREMENTS!!!!! woohoo! 12 credits over and done with. never again will i go up to that board to go cuckoo over which experiment is good, when i can do, how many credits it has. muahahaha! have to say, psych is not what i expected it to be. maybe it's the way michael and the other one teaches it. i think they're horrible lecturers. btw, i dramatically failed my psych mid term. but at least, the mark is a positive number and not a negative grade. haha. just have to do better for the lab reports and final. and then, i'm not gonna take psych modules anymore liao.
and then. EN. today the first essay draft was due for proofreading. me and joseph were exchanging essays. and well, after dr wee went through her requirements, i think mine isn't so good after all. suddenly i realise how much crap i'm talking. so this means, either tonight or tmr, going on a marathon rewriting of my essay. sigh. what to do? don't wanna risk my grade. joseph did the ad for the honda civic. the one with the choir doing the advert. haha! well, there's a reason why i didn't do an ad analysis. that one is really cool to watch, but i think it's horribly difficult to find something intelligent to say about it, so kudos to him for churning out a 4 pg essay on it.
EL. thank goodness i forced myself to prepare the tutorial last night and this morning. cos that peter tan went round the class to ask for answers. haha! still haven't explained my absence from tutorial 2 weeks ago, so there goes my 100% attendence mark. the test was ok. partly, can be done without referring to notes if you study hard enough. but, me being me. haha! i was crapping. hope that he doesn't use negative marking. he's so cute. today's tutorial, he showed up wearing suspenders. haha! so weird. usually it's the little bow tie, but suspenders?! rofl. and the class was making fun of his slang/accent. asking him how ppl react when he orders from hawker center or something. haha! his own fault for setting a question about slanging. can tell, he was kinda awkward about it. poor fella.
and on the way home, i saw mr pang at KR terminal. and he got up the same bus as me (10) and he sat in the seat in front of me. and...drumroll... HE REMEMBERS MY NAME!!!!!!!! oh my god. now that's what i call a really dedicated teacher. i barely know him and yet he knows my name after all these years. ok, 1 year and a bit. and best part, i was never his student, just one of those in the choir he's in charge of. ok, maybe he remembers cos me and toh ying sometimes took the same train home with him. (he lives near my place) haha! anyway, i always find it freaky when teachers remember you when you hardly ever talked to them.
just saw this on the david copperfield board. david's father, hyman kotkin, passed away last thursday. don't know what to say. just wanted to mention it here. he's probably had a very good life. rest peacefully now. thank you for all you've done for us and for david. bit sad that he didn't live to see his only son get married. hint hint to david.
moving on, yesterday. monday. well, choir was fun! wei wei was nagging us about how we look like we're beating mosquitoes, and just escaped from a torture chamber. haha! kwei came down and did the 1st half. well, i can memorise the 1st half liao, thank god. happy that don't have to sing "ascendo". anyway, so just the 2nd half left. gotta really sit down and memorise "roads". fyi, my horoscope said that romance is in the air. IT LIED. haha! the only thing vaguely, and very very very very vaguely romance oriented was joseph trying to chase dharini away after choir so that he could talk to me about the essay. muahaha! oh ya, kwei made us lie down on the floor and sing "blessing glory and wisdom". that went ok, except the alleluia-amen parts that we never fully memorised anyway. fun.
oh ya, and i was trying to edit my essay along the walkway and was interrupted twice. first was by this guy selling some donation tickets for some children's home. and sucker that i was, i bought from him. $2 gone. haiz. given the experience at juice, i think i'd try and help these poor exploited ppl when i can. btw, his pitch was very very bad. anyway, 2nd interruption from these 2 girls. from some campus christian group. first they ask me to fill in some survey. in which the da vinci code featured prominently. interesting part, there was one qn asking me about my religion. so i put catholic. and then, they asked me if i saw this booklet before "what you see is not all you get". one of those christian booklets. anyway, then, this girl started to go through the ENTIRE booklet with me. stuff like how sin is keeping man away from god, and how jesus is the bridge to bring man back to god and how it's impt to live a christ centered life etc etc. the poor girl was reading every single word in the booklet. and i tried to tell her that, hey, i'm a catholic, i already got jesus as my saviour, you can save your breath trying to convince me to accept him again. sometimes i wonder if they actually know what they're doing or if they just think they do.
sunday. tried on my new choir shoes. god, it was pure torture. note to self: wear stockings to vv. i liked the resp psalm. finally a time when i didn't go hoarse at the stand. dawn was trying to teach marion how to play the organ properly. yup. she's improved i think. supposed to go for lynette's confirmation. but stayed back to squeeze out the essay.
saturday. such a tiring day. first, dragged myself to siglap for the shah alam grp practice. arrived at 11.30. sat around and got stared at by the vj choir till 12 when wei wei, huijun and mei si appeared. no one else was there yet. sigh. in the end, the grp was so small, it was pathetic. came down early for nothing. could have stayed home and sleep a bit more. anyway, rest of the choir began trickling in at 1. trickling cos the attendence was still quite pathetic. sang some songs, then went for the 'workshop' with vj and vc. didn't know zofia was in vc. anyway, kwei made us sing "blessing, glory and wisdom", "sweet honey" and "dokin". wow. i forgot how scary the siglap hall was. i couldn't hear the rest of them lor. thank goodness he didn't make us do "lily". we'd probably go to pieces. how did we manage it the last time?
then after choir there, go home and prepare for the other choir practice. i seriously can't wait for vv to be over. anyway, go to church and discover that the altar boys are having bbq in the car park. wonderful. which means that no one will be in the mood to sing. and being the low energy level that i was, frankly, i didn't care either. which is a bad thing i know. anyway, at 7.30 there was only a small handfull of people. so, when i finally decided that we'd learn "ashes", go thru tmr's hymns and go home, the guys decided to show up. anyway, me feeling very very sian liao. taught them "ashes" then suggested that they think up parts for themselves. they were SO enthu about it. fr khoo came up and looked in on us and they were huddled together trying to harmonise. thank god khoo came up at a time when they were doing serious choir stuff. anway, khoo started some crap story as usual then, got round to inviting us to the bbq. yups. anyway, like i said, went through the motions then went home. really have to get down to proper stuff when vv is over. note to self: ask khoo about easter vigil sequence.
did i talk about theo yet? that girl ah. make me angry only. she was supposed to meet me to return me my stuff that she borrowed when i was still in jc. which is more than a year ago. so, i let her decide what time we'll meet. and she shows up 1 hour late. or rather, i left after waiting an hour. she didn't even call me to tell me that she'll be late. i had to call her. and she had the nerve to tell me that she got lost cos it's raining (which it wasn't). and i got in trouble with the parents cos of her. partly my fault too lah. i should be more assertive about it. but she should also be responsible mah. anyway, then she called me to berate me for leaving. *rolls eyes* hello? you're the one who's over an hour late. anyway, i made her come to my house to return my stuff. and she didn't return all either. just my gown and the photos, and the JNT cd. everything else is still with her. gosh, if i wasn't at home...i'd really give her a piece of my mind sia. i specifically told her i want my cds back by march. march is less than 4 hours away. she's still not returned them. haiz. huge memo to self: never ever lend anything to theodora goh again.
i don't remember if i said this yet, probably not but anyway. sad to say, i succumbed to temptation and stuck my foot in my mouth again where my guy is concerned. again. *someone slap me* here's what happened, my friend finally decided to take matters into her own hands and wrote to him to tell him that i'm still waiting for his answer. and on v day (of all days. sigh) he wrote back to me. a very simple message. still not answering the question btw. yup. anyway, recently, i succumbed and wrote back to him. and i stuck my foot in when i (sorry about this my friend who wrote to him) told him that i don't want him to be obliged to write to me if he doesn't want to. cos before, i told him that i'd leave him alone if he wanted. and i think he's made it pretty clear his intentions. so...just move on.
last stuff. was looking at "the crucible" on imbd. remembering that yasmin never got round to returning me my vcd. anyway, some memoriable quotes to remeber the days in mrs pearce's class. lots more but i don't remember much. "heaven and hell grapple on our backs and all our old pretence is ripped away! and the wind, god's icy wind, will blow!" love that one, "question abigail williams about the gospel,not myself", "because it is MY NAME!!!!! because i can never have another in my life!!!!!" and the best "mr parris, you are a BRAINLESS man."
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Sunday, February 26, 2006
closure of little chorales board
because of the lack of response, the little chorales message board is now closed.
thanks to those few who responded.
thanks to those few who responded.
Friday, February 24, 2006
hectic day
i don't need to spend time on the threadmill. all i have to do is stay in school. take today for instance. first, i arrived at KR. shouldn't have taken 10, should have taken 151. but what to do? i was blur. anyway, i'm scheduled for RP at 11.35 in AS6. which is at the other side of arts fac. and it's already 11.30. so how? run to AS6 lor. dashed up to the 4th floor. and when i got there, the idiot guy tells me to wait cos he's still briefing the person before me. :p this experiment was fun. it was on letter recognition. so i just had to stare at the comp screen and pick out the 2 flashing red letters among the rest of the flashing grey letters. very easy. but halfway through, very kan cheong cos i supposed to be having psych midterm. and it's almost time. (remember, i started the experiment late) anyway, rushed through the rest of the experiment. got the guy to sign my RP form for that 1 miserable credit.
then, ran back to LT9 for psych. made it just in time. they were only just distributing the bubble sheets. couldn't find su hui so sat with grace and group. stupid paper. ok, i admit, i didn't study. so i fully expect to fail. maybe even get a negative grade. haiz. hate negative marking.
newae, after that, got some breather. lunch, then me and su hui went to central library. photocopied the hymn for church choir. in which the photocopier didn't copy clearly for some reason. :p then hung around. found this great section of the library that had stuff like urban legends, myths and stuff like that. and a really cool cultural section. should have discovered this section last sem. haha! shows how much time i spend in the library.
anyway, slacked till fell asleep in the library. left ourselves 10min to run back to LT8. the other lecturer was lecturing. i think he's prof ho. anyway, he's ok. a bit slower than dr wang. very very different style of lecturing. got lots that's not in his slides so we were all copying like heck. doing the youth section now. looks like fun. he ended at 5.45.
rushed back to KR. where i made the very wrong decision to take 10. i'm supposed to be at vch for ernie's concert by 7. so i thought there's plenty of time to take 10. i was so wrong. the thing jammed so bad that it took half hour to reach habourfront. so had no choice but to get off the bus and take the train. took to raffles place and really ran from there to vch. saw jacinta there. the concert wasn't bad. loved the percussion band. the instructor was cute. pity syed wasn't there anymore. wonder what happened to him. guitar ensemble, annie played. concert band was good, except for a minor unpleasant moment for ernie. but don't worry, we still love you ernie.
yup. that's my day. it's 11.50. choir again tmr. back to the hectic all day rush hour. wonderful training for 100m dash someday.
then, ran back to LT9 for psych. made it just in time. they were only just distributing the bubble sheets. couldn't find su hui so sat with grace and group. stupid paper. ok, i admit, i didn't study. so i fully expect to fail. maybe even get a negative grade. haiz. hate negative marking.
newae, after that, got some breather. lunch, then me and su hui went to central library. photocopied the hymn for church choir. in which the photocopier didn't copy clearly for some reason. :p then hung around. found this great section of the library that had stuff like urban legends, myths and stuff like that. and a really cool cultural section. should have discovered this section last sem. haha! shows how much time i spend in the library.
anyway, slacked till fell asleep in the library. left ourselves 10min to run back to LT8. the other lecturer was lecturing. i think he's prof ho. anyway, he's ok. a bit slower than dr wang. very very different style of lecturing. got lots that's not in his slides so we were all copying like heck. doing the youth section now. looks like fun. he ended at 5.45.
rushed back to KR. where i made the very wrong decision to take 10. i'm supposed to be at vch for ernie's concert by 7. so i thought there's plenty of time to take 10. i was so wrong. the thing jammed so bad that it took half hour to reach habourfront. so had no choice but to get off the bus and take the train. took to raffles place and really ran from there to vch. saw jacinta there. the concert wasn't bad. loved the percussion band. the instructor was cute. pity syed wasn't there anymore. wonder what happened to him. guitar ensemble, annie played. concert band was good, except for a minor unpleasant moment for ernie. but don't worry, we still love you ernie.
yup. that's my day. it's 11.50. choir again tmr. back to the hectic all day rush hour. wonderful training for 100m dash someday.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
want to share this. try to take some time to read it.
moved up to allow more reading of it. new post under this one.
a chapter (94) from "Angels and Demons" by Dan Brown, one i think is pretty climatic of the novel. it may be on the long side, but take the time to read it. it's pretty relevant to our situation now. i'll do a commentary when i have the time. meanwhile, read on:
Sitting in the Sistine Chapel among his stunned colleagues, Cardinal Mortati tried to comprehend the words he was hearing. Before him, lit only by the candlelight, the camerlengo had just told a tale of such hatred and treachery that Mortati found himself trembling. The camerlengo spoke of kidnapped cardinals, branded cardinals, murdered cardinals. He spoke of the ancient Illuminati - a name that dredged up forgotten fears - and of their resurgence and vow of revenge against the church. With pain in his voice, the camerlengo spoke of his late Pope ... the victim of an Illuminati poisoning. And finally, his words almost a whisper, he spoke of a deadly new technology, anti-matter, which in less than two hours threatened to destroy all of Vatican City.
When he was through, it was as if Satan himself had sucked the air from the room. Nobody could move. The camerlengo's words hung in the darkness.
The only sound Mortati could now hear ws the anomalous hum of a television camera in the back - an electronic presence no conclave in histroy had ever endured - but a presence demanded by the camerlengo. To the utter astonishment of the cardinals, the camerlengo had entered the Sistine Chapel with two BBC reporters - a man and a woman - and announced that they would be transmitting his solemn statement, live to the world.
Now, speaking directly to the camera, the camerlengo stepped forward. 'To the Illuminati,' he said, his voice deepening, 'and to those of science, let me say this.' He paused. 'You have won the war.'
The silence spread now to the deepest corners of the chapel. Mortati could hear the desperate thumping of his own heart.
'The wheels have been in motion for a long time,' the camerlengo said. 'Your victory has been inevitable. Never before has it been as obvious as it is at this moment. Science is the new God.'
What is he saying! Mortati thought. Has he gone mad? The entire world is hearing this!
'Medicine, electronic communications, space travel, genetic manipulation ... these are the miracles about which we now tell our children. These are the miracles we herald as proof that science will bring us the answers. The ancient stories of immaculate conceptions, burning bushes, and parting seas are no longer relevant. God has become obsolete. Science has won the battle. We concede.'
A rustle of confusion and bewilderment swept through the chapel.
'But science's victory,' the camerlengo added, his voice intensifying, 'has cost every one of us. And it has cost us deeply.'
Silence.
'Science may have alleviated the miseries of disease and drudgery and provided an array of gadgetry for our entertainment and convenience, but it has left us in a world without wonder. Our sunsets have been reduced to wavelengths and frequencies. The complexities of the universe have been shredded into mathematical equations. Even our self-worth as human beings has been destroyed. Science proclaims that Planet Earth and its inhabitants are a meaningless speck in the grand scheme. A cosmic accident.' he paused. 'Even the technology that promises to unite us, divides us. Each of us is now electronically connected to the globe, and yet we feel utterly alone. We are bombarded with violence, division, fracture, and betrayal. Skepticism has become a virtue. Cynicism and demand for proof has become enlightened thought. Is it any wonder that humans now feel more depressed and defeated than they have at any point in human history? Does science hold anything sacred? Science looks for answers by probing our unborn fetuses. Science even presumes to rearrange our own DNA. It shatters God's world into smaller and smaller pieces in quest of meaning ... and all it finds is more questions.'
Mortati watched in awe. The camerlengo was almost hypnotic now. He had a physical strength in his movements and voice that Mortati had never witnessed on a Vatican altar. The man's voice was wrought with conviction and sadness.
'The ancient war between science and religion is over,' the camerlengo said. 'You have won. But you have not won fairly. You have not won by providing answers. You have won by so radically reorienting our society that the truths we once saw as signposts now seem inapplicable. Religion cannot keep up. Scientific growth is exponential. It feeds on itself like a virus. Every new breakthrough opens doors for new breakthroughs. Mankind took thousands of years to progress from the wheel to the car. Yet only decades from the car into space. Now we measure scientific progress in weeks. We are spinning out of control. The rift between us grows deeper and deeper, and as religion is left behind, people find themseles in a spiritual void. We cry out for meaning. And believe me, we do cry out. We see UFOs, engage in channeling, spirit contact, out-of-body experiences, mindquests - all these eccentric ideas have a scientific veneer, but they are unashamedly irrational. They are the desperate cry of the modern soul, lonely and tormented, crippled by its own enlightenment and its inablilty to accept meaning in anything removed from technology.'
Mortati could feel himself leaning forward in his seat. He and the other cardinals and people around the world were hanging on this priest's every utterance. The camerlengo spoke with no rhetoric or vitriol. No references to scripture or Jesus Christ. He spoke in modern terms, unadorned and pure. Somehow, as though the words were flowing from God himself, he spoke the modern language ... delivering the ancient message. In that moment, Mortati saw one of the reasons the late Pope held this young man so dear. In a world of apathy, cynicism, and technological deification, men like the camerlengo, realists who could speak to our souls like this man just had, were the church's only hope.
The camerlengo was talking more forcefully now. 'Science, you say, will save us. Science, I say, has destroyed us. Since the days of Galileo, the church has tried to slow the relentless march of science, sometimes with misguided means, but always with benevolent intention. Even so, the temptations are too great for man to resist. I warn you, look around yourselves. The promises of science have not been kept. Promises of efficiency and simplicity have bred nothing but pollution and chaos. We are a fractured and frantic species ... moving down a path of destruction.'
The camerlengo paused a long moment and then sharpened his eyes on the camera.
'Who is this God science? Who is the God who offers his people power but no moral framework to tell you how to use that power? What kind of God gives a child fire but does not warn the child of its dangers? The language of science comes with no signposts about good and bad. Science textbooks tell us how to create a nuclear reaction, and yet they contain no chapter asking us if it is a good or a bad idea.
'To science, I say this. The church is tired. We are exhausted from trying to be your signposts. Our resources are drying up from our campaign to be the voice of balance as you plow blindly on in your quest for smaller chips and larger profits. We ask not why you will not govern yourselves, but how can you? Your world moves so fast that if you stop even for an instant to consider the implications of your actions, someone more efficient will whip past you in a blur. So you move on. You proliferate weapons of mass destruction, but it is the Pope who travels the world beseeching leaders to use restraint. You clone living creatures, but it is the church reminding us to consider the moral implications of our actions. You encourage people to interact on phones, video screens, and computers, but it is the church who opens its doors and reminds us to commune in person as we were meant to do. You even murder unborn babies in the name of research that will save lives. Again, it is the church who points out the fallacy of this reasoning.
'And all the while, you proclaim the church is ignorant. But who is more ignorant? The man who cannot define lightning, or the man who does not respect its awsome power? This church is reaching out to you. Reaching out to everyone. And yet the more we reach, the more you push us away. Show me proof there is a God, you say. I say use your telescopes to look to the heavens, and tell me how there could not be a God!' The camerlengo had tears in his eyes now. 'You ask what does God look like. I say, where did that question come from? The answers are one and the same. Do you not see God in your science? How can you miss Him! You proclaim that even the slightest change in the force of gravity or the weight of an atom would have rendered our universe a lifeless mist rather than our magnificent sea of heavenly bodies, and yet you fall to see God's hand in this? Is it really so much easier to believe that we simply chose the right card from a deck of billions? Have we become so spiritually bankrupt that we would rather believe in mathematical impossibility than in a power greater than us?
'Whether or not you believe in God,' the camerlengo said, his voice deepening with deliberation, 'you must believe this. When we as a species abandon our trust in the power greater than us, we abandon our sense of accountability. Faith ... all faiths ... are admonitions that there is something we cannot understand, something to which we are accountable ... With faith we are accountable to each other, to ourselves, and to a higher trugh. Religion is flawed, but only because man is flawed. If the outside world could see this church as I do ... looking beyond the ritual of these walls ... they would see a modern miracle ... a brotherhood of imperfect, simple souls wanting only to be a voice of compassion in a world spinning out of control.'
The camerlengo motioned out over the College of Cardinals, and the BBC camerawoman instinctively followed, panning the crowd.
'Are we obsolete?' the camerlengo asked. 'Are these men dinosaurs? Am I? Does the world really need a voice for the poor, the weak, the oppressed, the unborn child? Do we really need souls like these who, though imperfect, spend their lives imploring each of us to read the signposts of morality and not lose our way?'
Mortati now realized that the camerlengo, whether consciously or not, was making a brilliant move. By showing the cardinals, he was personalizing the church. Vatican City was no longer a building, it was people - people like the camerlengo who had spent their lives in the service of goodness.
'Tonight we are perched on a precipice,' the camerlengo said. 'None of us can afford to be apathetic. Whether you see this evil as Satan, corruption or immorality ... the dark force is alive and growing every day. Do not ignore it.' The camerlengo lowered his voice to a whisper, and the camera moved in. 'The force, though mighty, is not invincible. Goodness can prevail. Listen to your hearts. Listen to God. Together we can step back from this abyss.'
Now Mortati understood. This was the reason. Conclave had been violated, but this was the only way. It was a dramatic and desperate plea for help. The camerlengo was speaking to both his enemy and his friends now. He was entreating anyone, friend or foe, to see the light and stop this madness. Certainly someone listening would realize the insanity of this plot and come forward.
The camerlengo knelt at the altar. 'Pray with me.'
The College of Cardinals dropped to their knees to join him in prayer. Outside in St Peter's Square and around the globe ... a stunned world knelt with them.
a chapter (94) from "Angels and Demons" by Dan Brown, one i think is pretty climatic of the novel. it may be on the long side, but take the time to read it. it's pretty relevant to our situation now. i'll do a commentary when i have the time. meanwhile, read on:
Sitting in the Sistine Chapel among his stunned colleagues, Cardinal Mortati tried to comprehend the words he was hearing. Before him, lit only by the candlelight, the camerlengo had just told a tale of such hatred and treachery that Mortati found himself trembling. The camerlengo spoke of kidnapped cardinals, branded cardinals, murdered cardinals. He spoke of the ancient Illuminati - a name that dredged up forgotten fears - and of their resurgence and vow of revenge against the church. With pain in his voice, the camerlengo spoke of his late Pope ... the victim of an Illuminati poisoning. And finally, his words almost a whisper, he spoke of a deadly new technology, anti-matter, which in less than two hours threatened to destroy all of Vatican City.
When he was through, it was as if Satan himself had sucked the air from the room. Nobody could move. The camerlengo's words hung in the darkness.
The only sound Mortati could now hear ws the anomalous hum of a television camera in the back - an electronic presence no conclave in histroy had ever endured - but a presence demanded by the camerlengo. To the utter astonishment of the cardinals, the camerlengo had entered the Sistine Chapel with two BBC reporters - a man and a woman - and announced that they would be transmitting his solemn statement, live to the world.
Now, speaking directly to the camera, the camerlengo stepped forward. 'To the Illuminati,' he said, his voice deepening, 'and to those of science, let me say this.' He paused. 'You have won the war.'
The silence spread now to the deepest corners of the chapel. Mortati could hear the desperate thumping of his own heart.
'The wheels have been in motion for a long time,' the camerlengo said. 'Your victory has been inevitable. Never before has it been as obvious as it is at this moment. Science is the new God.'
What is he saying! Mortati thought. Has he gone mad? The entire world is hearing this!
'Medicine, electronic communications, space travel, genetic manipulation ... these are the miracles about which we now tell our children. These are the miracles we herald as proof that science will bring us the answers. The ancient stories of immaculate conceptions, burning bushes, and parting seas are no longer relevant. God has become obsolete. Science has won the battle. We concede.'
A rustle of confusion and bewilderment swept through the chapel.
'But science's victory,' the camerlengo added, his voice intensifying, 'has cost every one of us. And it has cost us deeply.'
Silence.
'Science may have alleviated the miseries of disease and drudgery and provided an array of gadgetry for our entertainment and convenience, but it has left us in a world without wonder. Our sunsets have been reduced to wavelengths and frequencies. The complexities of the universe have been shredded into mathematical equations. Even our self-worth as human beings has been destroyed. Science proclaims that Planet Earth and its inhabitants are a meaningless speck in the grand scheme. A cosmic accident.' he paused. 'Even the technology that promises to unite us, divides us. Each of us is now electronically connected to the globe, and yet we feel utterly alone. We are bombarded with violence, division, fracture, and betrayal. Skepticism has become a virtue. Cynicism and demand for proof has become enlightened thought. Is it any wonder that humans now feel more depressed and defeated than they have at any point in human history? Does science hold anything sacred? Science looks for answers by probing our unborn fetuses. Science even presumes to rearrange our own DNA. It shatters God's world into smaller and smaller pieces in quest of meaning ... and all it finds is more questions.'
Mortati watched in awe. The camerlengo was almost hypnotic now. He had a physical strength in his movements and voice that Mortati had never witnessed on a Vatican altar. The man's voice was wrought with conviction and sadness.
'The ancient war between science and religion is over,' the camerlengo said. 'You have won. But you have not won fairly. You have not won by providing answers. You have won by so radically reorienting our society that the truths we once saw as signposts now seem inapplicable. Religion cannot keep up. Scientific growth is exponential. It feeds on itself like a virus. Every new breakthrough opens doors for new breakthroughs. Mankind took thousands of years to progress from the wheel to the car. Yet only decades from the car into space. Now we measure scientific progress in weeks. We are spinning out of control. The rift between us grows deeper and deeper, and as religion is left behind, people find themseles in a spiritual void. We cry out for meaning. And believe me, we do cry out. We see UFOs, engage in channeling, spirit contact, out-of-body experiences, mindquests - all these eccentric ideas have a scientific veneer, but they are unashamedly irrational. They are the desperate cry of the modern soul, lonely and tormented, crippled by its own enlightenment and its inablilty to accept meaning in anything removed from technology.'
Mortati could feel himself leaning forward in his seat. He and the other cardinals and people around the world were hanging on this priest's every utterance. The camerlengo spoke with no rhetoric or vitriol. No references to scripture or Jesus Christ. He spoke in modern terms, unadorned and pure. Somehow, as though the words were flowing from God himself, he spoke the modern language ... delivering the ancient message. In that moment, Mortati saw one of the reasons the late Pope held this young man so dear. In a world of apathy, cynicism, and technological deification, men like the camerlengo, realists who could speak to our souls like this man just had, were the church's only hope.
The camerlengo was talking more forcefully now. 'Science, you say, will save us. Science, I say, has destroyed us. Since the days of Galileo, the church has tried to slow the relentless march of science, sometimes with misguided means, but always with benevolent intention. Even so, the temptations are too great for man to resist. I warn you, look around yourselves. The promises of science have not been kept. Promises of efficiency and simplicity have bred nothing but pollution and chaos. We are a fractured and frantic species ... moving down a path of destruction.'
The camerlengo paused a long moment and then sharpened his eyes on the camera.
'Who is this God science? Who is the God who offers his people power but no moral framework to tell you how to use that power? What kind of God gives a child fire but does not warn the child of its dangers? The language of science comes with no signposts about good and bad. Science textbooks tell us how to create a nuclear reaction, and yet they contain no chapter asking us if it is a good or a bad idea.
'To science, I say this. The church is tired. We are exhausted from trying to be your signposts. Our resources are drying up from our campaign to be the voice of balance as you plow blindly on in your quest for smaller chips and larger profits. We ask not why you will not govern yourselves, but how can you? Your world moves so fast that if you stop even for an instant to consider the implications of your actions, someone more efficient will whip past you in a blur. So you move on. You proliferate weapons of mass destruction, but it is the Pope who travels the world beseeching leaders to use restraint. You clone living creatures, but it is the church reminding us to consider the moral implications of our actions. You encourage people to interact on phones, video screens, and computers, but it is the church who opens its doors and reminds us to commune in person as we were meant to do. You even murder unborn babies in the name of research that will save lives. Again, it is the church who points out the fallacy of this reasoning.
'And all the while, you proclaim the church is ignorant. But who is more ignorant? The man who cannot define lightning, or the man who does not respect its awsome power? This church is reaching out to you. Reaching out to everyone. And yet the more we reach, the more you push us away. Show me proof there is a God, you say. I say use your telescopes to look to the heavens, and tell me how there could not be a God!' The camerlengo had tears in his eyes now. 'You ask what does God look like. I say, where did that question come from? The answers are one and the same. Do you not see God in your science? How can you miss Him! You proclaim that even the slightest change in the force of gravity or the weight of an atom would have rendered our universe a lifeless mist rather than our magnificent sea of heavenly bodies, and yet you fall to see God's hand in this? Is it really so much easier to believe that we simply chose the right card from a deck of billions? Have we become so spiritually bankrupt that we would rather believe in mathematical impossibility than in a power greater than us?
'Whether or not you believe in God,' the camerlengo said, his voice deepening with deliberation, 'you must believe this. When we as a species abandon our trust in the power greater than us, we abandon our sense of accountability. Faith ... all faiths ... are admonitions that there is something we cannot understand, something to which we are accountable ... With faith we are accountable to each other, to ourselves, and to a higher trugh. Religion is flawed, but only because man is flawed. If the outside world could see this church as I do ... looking beyond the ritual of these walls ... they would see a modern miracle ... a brotherhood of imperfect, simple souls wanting only to be a voice of compassion in a world spinning out of control.'
The camerlengo motioned out over the College of Cardinals, and the BBC camerawoman instinctively followed, panning the crowd.
'Are we obsolete?' the camerlengo asked. 'Are these men dinosaurs? Am I? Does the world really need a voice for the poor, the weak, the oppressed, the unborn child? Do we really need souls like these who, though imperfect, spend their lives imploring each of us to read the signposts of morality and not lose our way?'
Mortati now realized that the camerlengo, whether consciously or not, was making a brilliant move. By showing the cardinals, he was personalizing the church. Vatican City was no longer a building, it was people - people like the camerlengo who had spent their lives in the service of goodness.
'Tonight we are perched on a precipice,' the camerlengo said. 'None of us can afford to be apathetic. Whether you see this evil as Satan, corruption or immorality ... the dark force is alive and growing every day. Do not ignore it.' The camerlengo lowered his voice to a whisper, and the camera moved in. 'The force, though mighty, is not invincible. Goodness can prevail. Listen to your hearts. Listen to God. Together we can step back from this abyss.'
Now Mortati understood. This was the reason. Conclave had been violated, but this was the only way. It was a dramatic and desperate plea for help. The camerlengo was speaking to both his enemy and his friends now. He was entreating anyone, friend or foe, to see the light and stop this madness. Certainly someone listening would realize the insanity of this plot and come forward.
The camerlengo knelt at the altar. 'Pray with me.'
The College of Cardinals dropped to their knees to join him in prayer. Outside in St Peter's Square and around the globe ... a stunned world knelt with them.
Monday, February 20, 2006
the madagascar penguins. *spoilers ahead*
WARNING: IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED "THE MADAGASCAR PENGUINS IN A CHRISTMAS CAPER" DO NOT READ THIS POST.
it started out as a attempt to get the 'kaboom' moments of the mini movie but ended up as a large scale capping. haha! may not be in order but, there you go! for those who love those insane creatures.
it started out as a attempt to get the 'kaboom' moments of the mini movie but ended up as a large scale capping. haha! may not be in order but, there you go! for those who love those insane creatures.
rico's first attempt to KABOOM
analyse options. how to rescue the private?
haha! kaboom, kaboom!!
private's been kidnapped! analyse the terrain.
no more mr cute-and-cuddly. engage operation special delivery, boys.
the vicious, salivating but tiny mr chew
penguins to the rescue!
she didn't see anything...
kaboom? yes rico. ka-boom.
cue music of the spaghetti westerns
back to the zoo in time for christmas.
with ted the lonely polar bear who's no longer lonely at christmas.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
wow.
i am totally bushed. today's choir practice was so tiring. but i'm really happy. haha! well, even though we started late, with very few ppl, it went very well. happiest part, it ended on time. and in between, it was on schedule too. haha! coincidence tho. cos i didn't consciously time myself. love my choir. haha! they're not too bad really.
a bit frustrating part. i feel like while i can teach them the theory, it's hard for me to do it in practice and to show them how to do it in practice. like, i don't know how to explain it exactly how to do it. it's like trying to explain something that is so automatic to me. and i want to help them sing properly but somehow i can't. oh well, have to learn from aunty mary more. haha!
a bit frustrating part. i feel like while i can teach them the theory, it's hard for me to do it in practice and to show them how to do it in practice. like, i don't know how to explain it exactly how to do it. it's like trying to explain something that is so automatic to me. and i want to help them sing properly but somehow i can't. oh well, have to learn from aunty mary more. haha!
Friday, February 17, 2006
crazy days.
it's my own darn fault but i haven't slept that much for days. so tired now. had a bad few days. long one.
yesterday. went for the music minstry meeting. 10am choir has got ash wed, 1 statn of the cross, the penitential service, good friday and easter vigil. that khoo got so uptight about us doing easter vigil again. started nagging about how he can't allow a monopoly etc etc. until that ronald finally told fr khoo concisely and precisely that he would be in another church during easter vigil so his choir won't be singing, so for practicaly reasons, just let them sing lah. and so fr khoo very reluctantly, after emphasising that the only reason he's letting us take it is cos ronald isn't around, let us take the easter vigil.
anyway, other stuff about the meeting. my first. i arrived exactly at 8pm. went to the meeting room. there was this huge bunch of ppl there. me not sure exactly what's happening. anyway, i just went in. i think they were the charismatic group or something cos they were singing p&w songs. thank god one of the aunties informed me that the mm meeting was supposed to elsewhere cos they had taken over the meeting room. anyway, so me rushes off to find khoo. so malu, i didn't see ronald and wife sitting at the priest house in the first place. well, not that i didn't see ronald, he's kinda hard to miss. i just didn't recognise him. too blur. anyway, found khoo. and the meeting commenced in the kitchen. somehow i became the minute taker. lucky for the lecture note taking practice. ya well. the meeting dragged on. and on. and on. and on. and on.
ok. anyway, moving on. today. what a weird day. first, i was so rudely awoken by my hp alarm. then, still half asleep, forced down my breakfast and went to school. i thought i saw 66 at the bus stop so i dashed across the road and caught the bus. damn crowded and got more crowded as the other stops passed. then, after macpherson pri, instead of turning toward canossa, it turned the other way. OH NO!!!!! i realised. it wasn't 66. it was 63. damn. quickly alight and change bus. by the time reached the 151 stop, it was already 9. i got experiment at 10. panic rising. anyway, 151 came along. boarded it. thank god it wasn't crowded. got a seat. was wanting to listen to my mp3 but by headphones spoiled. there was absolutely no sound coming out of the right speaker. only on the left. darn.
reached sch miraculously early. 9.45. wow. met su hui and went to find the experiment venue. which was at the USP block which we've never been before. anyway, went up. found the 7th floor. looking for tutorial room 1. saw all the other tutorial rooms except 1. then, we found it. it was the first room right in front of our faces when we left the lift. blur. went in. there were surprisingly few people. waited and waited. then the guy came in to say that we had to wait for more ppl before we can start. ok. being nice and patient ppl, we waited. did the experiment, which i will not explain here, firstly cos i don't really know it myself, secondly cos i don't want you all to have any impressions in case you thinking of taking part in a psych experiment. haha! anyway, he started late and ended late. but i got my 2 credits. haha! 10 more to go. that guy, when he was signing my form, he said, "wah! how come still so clean? mid term coming liao leh!" yes i know. *rolls eyes* at least i made a start.
right. then, lunch with su hui. then dragged myself to SS tutorial. that was ok. task was to imagine we were a political party and come up with a flag and ideology. my group was the multiculturalists. angeline and another girl were making jokes all the time, which was quite fun.
then, SS ended on the dot of 2. practically ran to get to AS6 for psych tutorial. saw the choir booth along the way. the angmoh girl in sop, i think her name is annette, gave me a flier as i went pass. :D
anyway, went up to 04/11. strange, it's 5 past 2 and there wasn't a tutor in the room. anyway, there were about 8/9 of us sitting there. time went past. 2.30 liao, still no tutor in sight. *shock* maybe it's the wrong room. but how can, since there are so many of us. maybe the tutor decided not to show up. hehe. anyway, one of the guys went to the psych office to ask. and he came back to tell us that we were in the wrong room. the right room is 02/07. so we all packed up and rushed down. and apparently, the tutor didn't even miss us. she was already halfway through her lesson liao. done with the demo. the class as so big, there weren't enough chairs for everyone. the tutor reminds me of mrs ethel koh from sac. a bit.
after the lesson, of which i didn't understand a single thing. rushed to meet duan hui at LT12 for her to pay me for the ticket which sumi didn't bring. (long story) then went to buy lunch and go to cfa for voice class. after walking in the hot sun, which is my only exercise btw, i wanted to buy a drink. i went to cfa and found out that the 2 vending machines had vanished. probably under-utilised. anyway, no drink but water. by 5, i was still the only person there. aunty mary finished with the previous class, of 3 ppl, and asked me if i wanted to go in and start first. you got to be kidding. anyway, wan ting came along, then joseph. so we went in. then the rest started trickling in. did that very very weird scales. and that song "piercing eyes". i think i like the "love is a many splendored thing" better. it's easier to sing. not so high. anyway, malu-ed myself cos i could not reach the note when aunty mary made us sing solo.
then, ate my dinner with jun and did some practice. and then went for choir. did the whole missa brevis. *g* so nice. went through the jap song "funauta". that was ok. the male chorus part of the song wasn't so good. not power. but the tenor and sop duet was nice. anyway, kinda pissed off at the end. already 9.30 liao. kk supposed to give announcements. and he talked for half an hour. oh. my. god. so angry. everytime i thought he was done, he would suddenly start up again. all the nagging about the concert, ticket sales, attitude, the choir general elections, how good cfa is to us, etc etc. hui yin was so amused to see me getting irritated at kk.
and then, rushed up for the bus. and no bus came. 96.... ... ... ... ... .. .. ...... ...95.. .... ... ..... .. .. ..... ... ...... ... another 96. which i took. figured that 151 wouldn't be coming for a while. so took 96 to change 154 at clementi. and the bus went so slow!!!! i saw the 154 happily zoom away on the other side of the road. i'm too cheap to take mrt so waited for the 154. lucky it was aircon double decker. so can sit on the top and stone. by this time 10.30 liao. then, stupid tv mobile started showing "planet's funniest animals". dammit. fyi, i cannot stand it when tv mobile shows stuff like that. the hidden camera shows. but never mind. came into the estate and alighted to change bus. and the 154 stopped like, 3 bus lengths away from the bus stop. never mind. waited and watited and waited. bus came. went home.
right. nuff for now. bad day. tired.
yesterday. went for the music minstry meeting. 10am choir has got ash wed, 1 statn of the cross, the penitential service, good friday and easter vigil. that khoo got so uptight about us doing easter vigil again. started nagging about how he can't allow a monopoly etc etc. until that ronald finally told fr khoo concisely and precisely that he would be in another church during easter vigil so his choir won't be singing, so for practicaly reasons, just let them sing lah. and so fr khoo very reluctantly, after emphasising that the only reason he's letting us take it is cos ronald isn't around, let us take the easter vigil.
anyway, other stuff about the meeting. my first. i arrived exactly at 8pm. went to the meeting room. there was this huge bunch of ppl there. me not sure exactly what's happening. anyway, i just went in. i think they were the charismatic group or something cos they were singing p&w songs. thank god one of the aunties informed me that the mm meeting was supposed to elsewhere cos they had taken over the meeting room. anyway, so me rushes off to find khoo. so malu, i didn't see ronald and wife sitting at the priest house in the first place. well, not that i didn't see ronald, he's kinda hard to miss. i just didn't recognise him. too blur. anyway, found khoo. and the meeting commenced in the kitchen. somehow i became the minute taker. lucky for the lecture note taking practice. ya well. the meeting dragged on. and on. and on. and on. and on.
ok. anyway, moving on. today. what a weird day. first, i was so rudely awoken by my hp alarm. then, still half asleep, forced down my breakfast and went to school. i thought i saw 66 at the bus stop so i dashed across the road and caught the bus. damn crowded and got more crowded as the other stops passed. then, after macpherson pri, instead of turning toward canossa, it turned the other way. OH NO!!!!! i realised. it wasn't 66. it was 63. damn. quickly alight and change bus. by the time reached the 151 stop, it was already 9. i got experiment at 10. panic rising. anyway, 151 came along. boarded it. thank god it wasn't crowded. got a seat. was wanting to listen to my mp3 but by headphones spoiled. there was absolutely no sound coming out of the right speaker. only on the left. darn.
reached sch miraculously early. 9.45. wow. met su hui and went to find the experiment venue. which was at the USP block which we've never been before. anyway, went up. found the 7th floor. looking for tutorial room 1. saw all the other tutorial rooms except 1. then, we found it. it was the first room right in front of our faces when we left the lift. blur. went in. there were surprisingly few people. waited and waited. then the guy came in to say that we had to wait for more ppl before we can start. ok. being nice and patient ppl, we waited. did the experiment, which i will not explain here, firstly cos i don't really know it myself, secondly cos i don't want you all to have any impressions in case you thinking of taking part in a psych experiment. haha! anyway, he started late and ended late. but i got my 2 credits. haha! 10 more to go. that guy, when he was signing my form, he said, "wah! how come still so clean? mid term coming liao leh!" yes i know. *rolls eyes* at least i made a start.
right. then, lunch with su hui. then dragged myself to SS tutorial. that was ok. task was to imagine we were a political party and come up with a flag and ideology. my group was the multiculturalists. angeline and another girl were making jokes all the time, which was quite fun.
then, SS ended on the dot of 2. practically ran to get to AS6 for psych tutorial. saw the choir booth along the way. the angmoh girl in sop, i think her name is annette, gave me a flier as i went pass. :D
anyway, went up to 04/11. strange, it's 5 past 2 and there wasn't a tutor in the room. anyway, there were about 8/9 of us sitting there. time went past. 2.30 liao, still no tutor in sight. *shock* maybe it's the wrong room. but how can, since there are so many of us. maybe the tutor decided not to show up. hehe. anyway, one of the guys went to the psych office to ask. and he came back to tell us that we were in the wrong room. the right room is 02/07. so we all packed up and rushed down. and apparently, the tutor didn't even miss us. she was already halfway through her lesson liao. done with the demo. the class as so big, there weren't enough chairs for everyone. the tutor reminds me of mrs ethel koh from sac. a bit.
after the lesson, of which i didn't understand a single thing. rushed to meet duan hui at LT12 for her to pay me for the ticket which sumi didn't bring. (long story) then went to buy lunch and go to cfa for voice class. after walking in the hot sun, which is my only exercise btw, i wanted to buy a drink. i went to cfa and found out that the 2 vending machines had vanished. probably under-utilised. anyway, no drink but water. by 5, i was still the only person there. aunty mary finished with the previous class, of 3 ppl, and asked me if i wanted to go in and start first. you got to be kidding. anyway, wan ting came along, then joseph. so we went in. then the rest started trickling in. did that very very weird scales. and that song "piercing eyes". i think i like the "love is a many splendored thing" better. it's easier to sing. not so high. anyway, malu-ed myself cos i could not reach the note when aunty mary made us sing solo.
then, ate my dinner with jun and did some practice. and then went for choir. did the whole missa brevis. *g* so nice. went through the jap song "funauta". that was ok. the male chorus part of the song wasn't so good. not power. but the tenor and sop duet was nice. anyway, kinda pissed off at the end. already 9.30 liao. kk supposed to give announcements. and he talked for half an hour. oh. my. god. so angry. everytime i thought he was done, he would suddenly start up again. all the nagging about the concert, ticket sales, attitude, the choir general elections, how good cfa is to us, etc etc. hui yin was so amused to see me getting irritated at kk.
and then, rushed up for the bus. and no bus came. 96.... ... ... ... ... .. .. ...... ...95.. .... ... ..... .. .. ..... ... ...... ... another 96. which i took. figured that 151 wouldn't be coming for a while. so took 96 to change 154 at clementi. and the bus went so slow!!!! i saw the 154 happily zoom away on the other side of the road. i'm too cheap to take mrt so waited for the 154. lucky it was aircon double decker. so can sit on the top and stone. by this time 10.30 liao. then, stupid tv mobile started showing "planet's funniest animals". dammit. fyi, i cannot stand it when tv mobile shows stuff like that. the hidden camera shows. but never mind. came into the estate and alighted to change bus. and the 154 stopped like, 3 bus lengths away from the bus stop. never mind. waited and watited and waited. bus came. went home.
right. nuff for now. bad day. tired.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
happy valentines day.
yesterday, i got a rose from wen hui. pic is (fresh) rose yesterday night (bit dark. took it at a bus stop while bored and waiting for the bus), bottom pic is (dying)rose tonight. beautiful. 
today has got to be the best valentine's day so far. not that i had a hot date or anything. anyway, the day started out normal. went for tutorials, screwed up the EN presentation, forgot to bring my EL tutorial and had to rush out something in 10mins. stoned for 2hrs outside LT12. went to sign up for RP. (stupid thing) EN lecture. no screening cos the topic was advertising. did you know that in 1 day, a child is exposed to an average of 3000 ads? by the time you're an adult, you've been exposed to at least 10,000,000 ads. haha! could say i spent time with a guy. lect and choir mate joseph. ;D
anyway, later comes the fun part. met duan hui at the forum at 4. hung around, half chit chatted and half studied. saw a HUGE bunch of muslim guys praying on the 2nd floor. very interesting. first time i saw such a sight. left nus at 5 something to go to poh lin's hostel for steamboat! yay! first time going into the ntu hostel room.
squeezed into the train at clementi. the crowd was just crazy. and they refused to move in. anyway, the crowd ALL cleared by the time it reached jurong east. lucky we decided to move forward the meeting time to 6 instead of 6.30. there was just not enough time. met poh lin and sumi at boon lay and went to ntu.
saw city harvest church along the way. well, the place looked a whole lot smaller than i expected. i think i expected it to look something like st mary of the angels. but it looks like a squashed version of marine parade library. loved the way they did the cross tho. bit weird. they had this gallows-like structure but instead of a hanged man, it was a cross hanging there. interesting.
anyway, moving on. poh lin's hostel is nice. it's so cosy and homey. so different from the nus hostels. so much better than the nus hostels. gave me a bit of deja vu but... the hall was a elliptical building built around a courtyard. 4 stories high. but what i like is the space. it's so spacious there. especially at the corridors. they actually have their own built in shoe rack and personal space to dry their laundry. beautiful. and it's so peaceful and quiet.
anyway, about the steamboat. when we arrived at her hostel, we went to prepare the food in the toilet, cos the pantry was too far away and we were all too lazy to walk. then, me and duan hui went back to poh lin's room to prepare the soup for the steamboat. anyway, we were struggling to figure out how to plug in the steamboat cos the plug didn't seem to fit. poh lin's roomie came to give us a hand. and i switched on the switch, and almost got electrocuted. scary sia. there was this flash of white light that came out of the switch. haha! could have DIED.
well, poh lin came back and was her usual self about how sua-ku we are about the thing. and got it started without anyone dying. piled in the fishballs, crab sticks, cabbage, sausage, egg, etc etc. so full now. the 4 of us were squished in a corner of the room while watching "confessions of a teenage drama queen" on poh lin's very beautiful acer lappie. wish someone could have taken a picture. we were sitting on the floor so every now and then, when we want more food, we'd all be kneeling to the steamboat. like praying to it or something.
sumi had to leave early cos of her class tmr. me and duan hui helped clear up the stuff. actually, that just consisted of grabbing everything in sight and throwing it away. yup. picture of the leftover food after we were done with dinner. and took photos together. (with tigger)
today has got to be the best valentine's day so far. not that i had a hot date or anything. anyway, the day started out normal. went for tutorials, screwed up the EN presentation, forgot to bring my EL tutorial and had to rush out something in 10mins. stoned for 2hrs outside LT12. went to sign up for RP. (stupid thing) EN lecture. no screening cos the topic was advertising. did you know that in 1 day, a child is exposed to an average of 3000 ads? by the time you're an adult, you've been exposed to at least 10,000,000 ads. haha! could say i spent time with a guy. lect and choir mate joseph. ;Danyway, later comes the fun part. met duan hui at the forum at 4. hung around, half chit chatted and half studied. saw a HUGE bunch of muslim guys praying on the 2nd floor. very interesting. first time i saw such a sight. left nus at 5 something to go to poh lin's hostel for steamboat! yay! first time going into the ntu hostel room.
squeezed into the train at clementi. the crowd was just crazy. and they refused to move in. anyway, the crowd ALL cleared by the time it reached jurong east. lucky we decided to move forward the meeting time to 6 instead of 6.30. there was just not enough time. met poh lin and sumi at boon lay and went to ntu.
saw city harvest church along the way. well, the place looked a whole lot smaller than i expected. i think i expected it to look something like st mary of the angels. but it looks like a squashed version of marine parade library. loved the way they did the cross tho. bit weird. they had this gallows-like structure but instead of a hanged man, it was a cross hanging there. interesting.
anyway, moving on. poh lin's hostel is nice. it's so cosy and homey. so different from the nus hostels. so much better than the nus hostels. gave me a bit of deja vu but... the hall was a elliptical building built around a courtyard. 4 stories high. but what i like is the space. it's so spacious there. especially at the corridors. they actually have their own built in shoe rack and personal space to dry their laundry. beautiful. and it's so peaceful and quiet.
anyway, about the steamboat. when we arrived at her hostel, we went to prepare the food in the toilet, cos the pantry was too far away and we were all too lazy to walk. then, me and duan hui went back to poh lin's room to prepare the soup for the steamboat. anyway, we were struggling to figure out how to plug in the steamboat cos the plug didn't seem to fit. poh lin's roomie came to give us a hand. and i switched on the switch, and almost got electrocuted. scary sia. there was this flash of white light that came out of the switch. haha! could have DIED.
well, poh lin came back and was her usual self about how sua-ku we are about the thing. and got it started without anyone dying. piled in the fishballs, crab sticks, cabbage, sausage, egg, etc etc. so full now. the 4 of us were squished in a corner of the room while watching "confessions of a teenage drama queen" on poh lin's very beautiful acer lappie. wish someone could have taken a picture. we were sitting on the floor so every now and then, when we want more food, we'd all be kneeling to the steamboat. like praying to it or something.
sumi had to leave early cos of her class tmr. me and duan hui helped clear up the stuff. actually, that just consisted of grabbing everything in sight and throwing it away. yup. picture of the leftover food after we were done with dinner. and took photos together. (with tigger)
bit blurry pics. i think my hand shook. used my phone camera. poh lin took me on a 'tour' of her hall. very nice. very very cosy. if nus halls were like this, i'd stay. kept wondering why didn't i choose ntu when i had the chance. anyway, ya, sat in the tv room and watched chinese drama for a while. then had to leave by 10 so that we can catch the train back home. kinda fun time.
other stuff. all this happened through friendster. a friend wrote to the guy about me. and he wrote back to me. now, while i'm happy about it, i kinda feel that he only wrote to me because he felt like he had to, cos of what my friend wrote to him. ya anyway, no matter what his intentions were, it was a nice v day surprise. we were speculating on whether or not he would even respond. looks like he proved me wrong for once. ya. that's that for now. just friends.
rumour has it. clay's new cd will be released on *drumroll*
may 9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh the anticipation. heehee.
yup. anyway, it was a good v day cos i didn't spend it pathetically at home with will shakespheare for company like i did the previous years. :D
Monday, February 13, 2006
hello! quick points
-again, new email address: irene06@gmail.com. msn: littleswallow06@hotmail.com.
-alrighty. feeling a whole lot better. thanks to those who actually read my crap. sometimes, it just takes a huge childish temper tantrum (online or in reality) to make you feel better.
-wen hui gave me a pink rose! so sweet! thank you!
-choir tenors kept sounding like they sang "good moron evening friends" instead of "good morn or evening friends".
-missa brevis - agnus dei, or rather, the whole missa brevis, sounds so good! can't wait to hear it in the UCC. sure to be so shiok.
-ate malay mee pok for lunch. didn't even realise that the thingy was malay and i was placing the order in chinese until the guy (who looked chinese in the dark) started speaking in english. after i collected my mee pok then i noticed the malay religious stickers and the halal sign. haha! the chilly damn spicy (suddenly i forgot how to spell chilly/chillie/chille).
-theo's becoming a claymate. muahahahahahahahaha!!!! my greatest achievement. on the downside, she's holding my clay cds hostage cos she can't bear to part with them. i know who to go to if and when he decides to come to sg for a tour.
-and sg idol. before the thingy started, i told myself, IF the thingy extends auditions 3 times, i'll take it as a sign and go try out. IF i can spare the time that is. now it's on it's 2nd extension.
-the aliens decided to return our missing choir members.
-conducted my own choir practice. haha! table of plenty sounded good.
-wonder if khoo will blow a blood vessel if i decided to sing "let it be" in church.
all for now.
-alrighty. feeling a whole lot better. thanks to those who actually read my crap. sometimes, it just takes a huge childish temper tantrum (online or in reality) to make you feel better.
-wen hui gave me a pink rose! so sweet! thank you!
-choir tenors kept sounding like they sang "good moron evening friends" instead of "good morn or evening friends".
-missa brevis - agnus dei, or rather, the whole missa brevis, sounds so good! can't wait to hear it in the UCC. sure to be so shiok.
-ate malay mee pok for lunch. didn't even realise that the thingy was malay and i was placing the order in chinese until the guy (who looked chinese in the dark) started speaking in english. after i collected my mee pok then i noticed the malay religious stickers and the halal sign. haha! the chilly damn spicy (suddenly i forgot how to spell chilly/chillie/chille).
-theo's becoming a claymate. muahahahahahahahaha!!!! my greatest achievement. on the downside, she's holding my clay cds hostage cos she can't bear to part with them. i know who to go to if and when he decides to come to sg for a tour.
-and sg idol. before the thingy started, i told myself, IF the thingy extends auditions 3 times, i'll take it as a sign and go try out. IF i can spare the time that is. now it's on it's 2nd extension.
-the aliens decided to return our missing choir members.
-conducted my own choir practice. haha! table of plenty sounded good.
-wonder if khoo will blow a blood vessel if i decided to sing "let it be" in church.
all for now.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
with a mother like this, who needs enemies?
before i get carried away, announcement: i changed my email address to irene06@gmail.com. the other one littleswallow06@hotmail.com will be only for msn purposes.
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very angry now cos of her. (sorry, full of ranting)
context. like little kids, i'm supposed to give her all my ang-pows to keep and i can only open it tonight. *rolls eyes* so i go to open it. and there she is, talking about don't know what crap. so i just say, can i just open it and be done with it??? cos frankly, i don't care about the process of opening. i only care about the result. anyway, she just blew her top. and started shouting and scolding me for don't know what reason anyway? what? can't i just have a simple request??? i have fucking school tomorrow and i haven't finished my tutorial, and i haven't showered, and haven't done what i'm supposed to do. ang-pow is not important compared to all this. and so she accused me of spoiling the last day of new year for her. *rolls eyes* whatever lah. i just open the stupid ang-pow at top speed while she continues ranting away. then fucking, just as i finished opening the last one, she comes and snatches the damn money away and keeps it. fuck. has it never occured to her that i might want some of that money for myself and not in cold storage in the fucking bank???! i can't even use the money i have in the bank lor. i should never have agreed to joint account with her. she monitors every single piece of activity on my nets and questions each and every transaction at the end of the month, even those labelled "nus co-op". all those lies about going to let me handle my own money. anyway, DO NOT ask me how much i got from my ang-pow this year. i. do. not. know.
and that was just the last straw. i am sick of living in the same house as her. one of the things she's accusing me of is reading weird books. just because i was reading "angels and demons" by dan brown. and i bet you everything i own that she has no idea what's in the book. talk about taking things at face value. she had absolutely no problems with me reading "the templar revelation" even though the entire book is about jesus being fictional and a conspiracy. or all those mary magadalene books. now i'm finally reading a book that's sort of pro-religion and she is so against the book just because it has the word demon in the title. fuck lah. she should scold dad for this one. he's the one that brought the book home in the first place.
and then there's the issue of me supposedly trying to brainwash andrew to go to meridian and break the tradition of going to catholic schools. big fat F-U-C-K. for the record, i did not tell andrew to go to meridian cos it is secular. i do not consider religion as a factor in this. i mean, open your eyes, and smell the shit. this is a cruel secular world we live in. it's about time she realises that religion is not going to help. being sequestered in a catholic environment all your life is not going to prepare anyone for the real world. talk about biasness. she wants ME to draft HER an email so that she can thank andrew's teachers for taking such good care of him during his years at sji. hell i'm going to. what the hell she wanna do that for????? it's not as if they gave andrew special treatment or anything. and since it's andrew's teachers, why the fuck am i the one that has to do the email??? and i didn't see you trying so damn hard for me to get into cj. you had absolutely no problem with me going to meridian despite that it isn't a catholic school and that it's in far off pasir ris. and now you're saying that andrew can't go there cos it isn't catholic and it's in far off pasir ris? bullshit.
and then there's the church choir too. she accuses me of letting dawn handle too much despite the fact that i'm supposed to be leader now. for the record, i don't care. she's got more experience so it's only logical that i ask her to help. she says that i'm undermining my authority because of that. whatever. i don't care about authority. right here and now if someone else is willing to lead, i am so willing to let them. i don't want to be a leader. at all. i don't care about being at the helm of anything. i just want to be one of those nameless people in the background. yes, and i don't care if i do it all my life.
and then she's always talking about how good so-and-so is, how so-and-so is so kind hearted and always gives to charity, and always helps the less fortunate etc etc. fuck. what's the point in telling that?? so what? i don't care. it's their life. they want to do what they're doing, so be it. just don't shove them down my throats like they're living saints or something. i will never be like them ok. quit telling me how wonderful this and that person is. and she thinks that clay aiken is trashy just because he's a music celebrity and that i like him.
and there's the uni. frankly, i don't give a damn about uni. i don't care if i don't get a fancy degree. they've said that uni is for those people who are someday gonna be somebody in the working world. uh-uh. not for me. and she scolds me for that. saying that when i get my degree, get a good job, earn big money, and then can give back and help the church. bullshit. and she still cannot accept that i will not, repeat, will not join the catholic student society at nus. why the hell should i? as if i can't get enough through the choir? she keeps broadly saying that next year, in year 2 when i 'm more free i should join css. or i should go and find out where they're having mass and go and join them when they do. *rolls eyes* take the hint! i don't want to join them.
she's so fanatical about religion. and i don't see the reason why. it's never done me any good. and when i imply that to her, she just blows up again. she's so narrow minded in that way. she thinks it's a mortal sin that i refuse to go with her to novena. ok. i will confess my sins here and now. i pay only lip service to god. i do not pray. i have not gone for confession for 4 years. i have not said the rosary on my own for 2 years. (i don't even know where in my room the rosary is) i don't believe that the bible is the ultimate word of god. the communion is just a wafer and not the body and blood. i have been entertaining notions that the whole catholic faith is based on a conspiracy theory and that jesus never existed nor did he die on the cross or rise from the dead. there. i've said it. go on and excommunicate me.
and then, cos i've been using the comp till quite late at night. so i'm tired the next day right? so when i decide to go to sleep early, like tonight, she blows her top and scolds me. says it's my own fault that i'm tired etc etc. hello? night time? sleep? what's the problem? aren't i doing what she wants? cannot understand her.
i cannot wait for the day when nus will tell me that i'm eligible for student exchange. how good it'll feel to finally be free, even if only for 1 sememster. planning to go with su hui to either US or canada. that's assuming that my cap score is good enough and that i got enough money. she's got to stop treating me like a kid. i may act like one sometimes but the fact is that i'm not. i'm officially going to be an adult in a year. and yet. i learnt in soci, children whose parents are high in demandingness (control) and low in responsiveness (emotional), aka authoritarian, tend to be high in instrumental competence and behavioral control but low in self esteem and ppl skills. and somehow, i feel that that describes me. i think i have not yet attained piaget's 4th stage of development. go figure. and whose fault is it?
ok. nuff for now. feel better now that i've let it all out. haha! thanks for reading all my crap.
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very angry now cos of her. (sorry, full of ranting)
context. like little kids, i'm supposed to give her all my ang-pows to keep and i can only open it tonight. *rolls eyes* so i go to open it. and there she is, talking about don't know what crap. so i just say, can i just open it and be done with it??? cos frankly, i don't care about the process of opening. i only care about the result. anyway, she just blew her top. and started shouting and scolding me for don't know what reason anyway? what? can't i just have a simple request??? i have fucking school tomorrow and i haven't finished my tutorial, and i haven't showered, and haven't done what i'm supposed to do. ang-pow is not important compared to all this. and so she accused me of spoiling the last day of new year for her. *rolls eyes* whatever lah. i just open the stupid ang-pow at top speed while she continues ranting away. then fucking, just as i finished opening the last one, she comes and snatches the damn money away and keeps it. fuck. has it never occured to her that i might want some of that money for myself and not in cold storage in the fucking bank???! i can't even use the money i have in the bank lor. i should never have agreed to joint account with her. she monitors every single piece of activity on my nets and questions each and every transaction at the end of the month, even those labelled "nus co-op". all those lies about going to let me handle my own money. anyway, DO NOT ask me how much i got from my ang-pow this year. i. do. not. know.
and that was just the last straw. i am sick of living in the same house as her. one of the things she's accusing me of is reading weird books. just because i was reading "angels and demons" by dan brown. and i bet you everything i own that she has no idea what's in the book. talk about taking things at face value. she had absolutely no problems with me reading "the templar revelation" even though the entire book is about jesus being fictional and a conspiracy. or all those mary magadalene books. now i'm finally reading a book that's sort of pro-religion and she is so against the book just because it has the word demon in the title. fuck lah. she should scold dad for this one. he's the one that brought the book home in the first place.
and then there's the issue of me supposedly trying to brainwash andrew to go to meridian and break the tradition of going to catholic schools. big fat F-U-C-K. for the record, i did not tell andrew to go to meridian cos it is secular. i do not consider religion as a factor in this. i mean, open your eyes, and smell the shit. this is a cruel secular world we live in. it's about time she realises that religion is not going to help. being sequestered in a catholic environment all your life is not going to prepare anyone for the real world. talk about biasness. she wants ME to draft HER an email so that she can thank andrew's teachers for taking such good care of him during his years at sji. hell i'm going to. what the hell she wanna do that for????? it's not as if they gave andrew special treatment or anything. and since it's andrew's teachers, why the fuck am i the one that has to do the email??? and i didn't see you trying so damn hard for me to get into cj. you had absolutely no problem with me going to meridian despite that it isn't a catholic school and that it's in far off pasir ris. and now you're saying that andrew can't go there cos it isn't catholic and it's in far off pasir ris? bullshit.
and then there's the church choir too. she accuses me of letting dawn handle too much despite the fact that i'm supposed to be leader now. for the record, i don't care. she's got more experience so it's only logical that i ask her to help. she says that i'm undermining my authority because of that. whatever. i don't care about authority. right here and now if someone else is willing to lead, i am so willing to let them. i don't want to be a leader. at all. i don't care about being at the helm of anything. i just want to be one of those nameless people in the background. yes, and i don't care if i do it all my life.
and then she's always talking about how good so-and-so is, how so-and-so is so kind hearted and always gives to charity, and always helps the less fortunate etc etc. fuck. what's the point in telling that?? so what? i don't care. it's their life. they want to do what they're doing, so be it. just don't shove them down my throats like they're living saints or something. i will never be like them ok. quit telling me how wonderful this and that person is. and she thinks that clay aiken is trashy just because he's a music celebrity and that i like him.
and there's the uni. frankly, i don't give a damn about uni. i don't care if i don't get a fancy degree. they've said that uni is for those people who are someday gonna be somebody in the working world. uh-uh. not for me. and she scolds me for that. saying that when i get my degree, get a good job, earn big money, and then can give back and help the church. bullshit. and she still cannot accept that i will not, repeat, will not join the catholic student society at nus. why the hell should i? as if i can't get enough through the choir? she keeps broadly saying that next year, in year 2 when i 'm more free i should join css. or i should go and find out where they're having mass and go and join them when they do. *rolls eyes* take the hint! i don't want to join them.
she's so fanatical about religion. and i don't see the reason why. it's never done me any good. and when i imply that to her, she just blows up again. she's so narrow minded in that way. she thinks it's a mortal sin that i refuse to go with her to novena. ok. i will confess my sins here and now. i pay only lip service to god. i do not pray. i have not gone for confession for 4 years. i have not said the rosary on my own for 2 years. (i don't even know where in my room the rosary is) i don't believe that the bible is the ultimate word of god. the communion is just a wafer and not the body and blood. i have been entertaining notions that the whole catholic faith is based on a conspiracy theory and that jesus never existed nor did he die on the cross or rise from the dead. there. i've said it. go on and excommunicate me.
and then, cos i've been using the comp till quite late at night. so i'm tired the next day right? so when i decide to go to sleep early, like tonight, she blows her top and scolds me. says it's my own fault that i'm tired etc etc. hello? night time? sleep? what's the problem? aren't i doing what she wants? cannot understand her.
i cannot wait for the day when nus will tell me that i'm eligible for student exchange. how good it'll feel to finally be free, even if only for 1 sememster. planning to go with su hui to either US or canada. that's assuming that my cap score is good enough and that i got enough money. she's got to stop treating me like a kid. i may act like one sometimes but the fact is that i'm not. i'm officially going to be an adult in a year. and yet. i learnt in soci, children whose parents are high in demandingness (control) and low in responsiveness (emotional), aka authoritarian, tend to be high in instrumental competence and behavioral control but low in self esteem and ppl skills. and somehow, i feel that that describes me. i think i have not yet attained piaget's 4th stage of development. go figure. and whose fault is it?
ok. nuff for now. feel better now that i've let it all out. haha! thanks for reading all my crap.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
announcement
as of monday 13/02, littleswallow06@hotmail.com will cease to be my primary email.
my new primary email will be irene06@gmail.com.
the hotmail address will be only for msn purposes.
please take note and update your contact lists.
thanks!
my new primary email will be irene06@gmail.com.
the hotmail address will be only for msn purposes.
please take note and update your contact lists.
thanks!
Friday, February 10, 2006
this is the night
putting a video of my fav song.
can't decide if wanna put this montage or the original music video. or maybe i'll just slowly put all the versions of the TITN video and showcase them all one at a time and culminate with the original.
haha.
can't decide if wanna put this montage or the original music video. or maybe i'll just slowly put all the versions of the TITN video and showcase them all one at a time and culminate with the original.
haha.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
weird day
today has been such a WEIRD day.
first. shocking news! for the first time in my life, i missed, not one, but TWO tutorials. yup. drum roll. and for a very very very very stupid reason too. my blurness. here's the story. last night, reaching home at 11 after choir, i went to check my timetable. and i saw that today's classes were same as on monday. which i thought was 12pm. BUT i forgot that on monday, before my 12pm lecture, there is an even week tutorial starting at 10am. and that is the slot that i was looking at. and so, me happily went to school thinking that classes start at 12pm only to have su hui msg me at 11 asking me if i'm nearly there. by which time, i'd already missed my 10am class. (-_-") dammit. so reach sch at 12 and sat around till 2pm for EN lecture. sigh. wonder if it's the work of god or the devil. cos i didn't fully prepare for those tutorials and was fully intending to either keep my mouth shut or crap up something. so in a way, it was partially a good thing to have missed them. but then, i don't know what i should do now. report to the tutors? i have got no proper excuse for my absence. or maybe i'll just pretend nothing happened. *sticks out tongue*
and then. during EN lecture, there was a screening. of Southpark ("big gay al's big gay boat ride" or something like that) and Sex in the City ("anchor away"). well, first time i'm watching either one. well, Southpark was weird. homosexuality thing again. and Sex in the City. well, i think that one was overhyped. joseph was asking me how i found it. well, hard to tell him straight out. anyway, i thought it was not good. to me, THAT was trashy. there was a total of 5 bare breasts bared within that 1/2 hr episode. and well, it's more like sex on a platter with little bits of platitudious garnishing on the side. probably the type of show that i'd watch if there was nothing better on. it's just like a, i don't know, a watered down porn show or something. proves that sex sells.
anyway, then. st ant's devotion. well, there was a 6person choir. dawn didn't come so me and marion had to whack through the music. and worst part, a warden happily informed me that in the morning, there was a blackout at the church and that could be that the electrical stuff isn't working properly. which is probably a contributing factor as to why the organ sounded so weird today. thank god it was fr khoo doing the devotion. yup anyway, 10mins before 8, there were only 3 guys present (not counting me). later on, marion, augustine and celest came. and only 2 people reported that they were not coming. *hint*
never mind. anyway, i copied the "this is the night" series onto ms word. i think that's such a cool story. i'm removing the white spaces in preparation for the time when i will be inspired, and have to ink and paper to print it out. so far, it has reduced the thing to 1008 pages. haha.
yup. yay! free day tomorrow. have to catch up on every other reading i've got. the only one i'm up to date on is EN. other things to do, memorise the concert songs. which should only take about the whole day i think. haha.
first. shocking news! for the first time in my life, i missed, not one, but TWO tutorials. yup. drum roll. and for a very very very very stupid reason too. my blurness. here's the story. last night, reaching home at 11 after choir, i went to check my timetable. and i saw that today's classes were same as on monday. which i thought was 12pm. BUT i forgot that on monday, before my 12pm lecture, there is an even week tutorial starting at 10am. and that is the slot that i was looking at. and so, me happily went to school thinking that classes start at 12pm only to have su hui msg me at 11 asking me if i'm nearly there. by which time, i'd already missed my 10am class. (-_-") dammit. so reach sch at 12 and sat around till 2pm for EN lecture. sigh. wonder if it's the work of god or the devil. cos i didn't fully prepare for those tutorials and was fully intending to either keep my mouth shut or crap up something. so in a way, it was partially a good thing to have missed them. but then, i don't know what i should do now. report to the tutors? i have got no proper excuse for my absence. or maybe i'll just pretend nothing happened. *sticks out tongue*
and then. during EN lecture, there was a screening. of Southpark ("big gay al's big gay boat ride" or something like that) and Sex in the City ("anchor away"). well, first time i'm watching either one. well, Southpark was weird. homosexuality thing again. and Sex in the City. well, i think that one was overhyped. joseph was asking me how i found it. well, hard to tell him straight out. anyway, i thought it was not good. to me, THAT was trashy. there was a total of 5 bare breasts bared within that 1/2 hr episode. and well, it's more like sex on a platter with little bits of platitudious garnishing on the side. probably the type of show that i'd watch if there was nothing better on. it's just like a, i don't know, a watered down porn show or something. proves that sex sells.
anyway, then. st ant's devotion. well, there was a 6person choir. dawn didn't come so me and marion had to whack through the music. and worst part, a warden happily informed me that in the morning, there was a blackout at the church and that could be that the electrical stuff isn't working properly. which is probably a contributing factor as to why the organ sounded so weird today. thank god it was fr khoo doing the devotion. yup anyway, 10mins before 8, there were only 3 guys present (not counting me). later on, marion, augustine and celest came. and only 2 people reported that they were not coming. *hint*
never mind. anyway, i copied the "this is the night" series onto ms word. i think that's such a cool story. i'm removing the white spaces in preparation for the time when i will be inspired, and have to ink and paper to print it out. so far, it has reduced the thing to 1008 pages. haha.
yup. yay! free day tomorrow. have to catch up on every other reading i've got. the only one i'm up to date on is EN. other things to do, memorise the concert songs. which should only take about the whole day i think. haha.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
what a sunday mass!
sunday mass today was quite interesting. firstly, well, the altar server installation. there were 24 of them. kinda a lot. khoo must be proud. anyway, cos of that, many of the guys were missing from choir. and so suddenly, in the middle of mass, when the altos decided to sit with the sops, there was suddenly an empty row in the middle of the choir. which is why i made the remaining guys move forward. it created a, kinda like a sound gap. and they're far away enough from the mike as it is already. if there's room, why not move forward.
then, there was this group of philippinos who came in during the entrance hymn, dressed totally in white. definitely very attention grabbing. i could see majority of the choir turning to look at them. me included. it's an interesting sight in our church i tell you. i think they were on a 'pilgrimage' or something cos after mass, they went round the church to the statues and prayed and took photos. and then, the offertery rites went a whole lot faster than i remember. *smacks myself* shouldn't have repeated the first verse of the "lord make us ready". still haven't gotten the hang of judging the timing.
haha! guess what? some things that made me very happy doing the choir today. despite me thinking that i malu-ated myself as usual, 3 people came after mass to tell us that we sounded great. among these was a couple visiting from canada. (hmm...sudden thought, maybe sylvia sent them) anyway, they actually CLAPPED for us after the rec. woah. WOAH. never in a million years did i think that there would actually be people applauding for us like that at an ordinary mass. it's really good encouragement to do better next time.
and then, there was this lady at the thanksgiving hymn time. we sang "god is dwelling in my heart". and i was just looking round, seeing if congregation is singing along, cos it seemed quieter than usual. and i saw her. she was kneeling down but her hands were lifted up, like in those praise and worship sessions, singing gustily. i don't know. seeing her singing like that was so... uplifting. thinking that, hey, despite me thinking that the hymns i planned are so sucky, there is someone somewhere who can connect with it, that it means something to that person. sweet. i really hope that the choir can continue to really touch people like that.
then, there was this group of philippinos who came in during the entrance hymn, dressed totally in white. definitely very attention grabbing. i could see majority of the choir turning to look at them. me included. it's an interesting sight in our church i tell you. i think they were on a 'pilgrimage' or something cos after mass, they went round the church to the statues and prayed and took photos. and then, the offertery rites went a whole lot faster than i remember. *smacks myself* shouldn't have repeated the first verse of the "lord make us ready". still haven't gotten the hang of judging the timing.
haha! guess what? some things that made me very happy doing the choir today. despite me thinking that i malu-ated myself as usual, 3 people came after mass to tell us that we sounded great. among these was a couple visiting from canada. (hmm...sudden thought, maybe sylvia sent them) anyway, they actually CLAPPED for us after the rec. woah. WOAH. never in a million years did i think that there would actually be people applauding for us like that at an ordinary mass. it's really good encouragement to do better next time.
and then, there was this lady at the thanksgiving hymn time. we sang "god is dwelling in my heart". and i was just looking round, seeing if congregation is singing along, cos it seemed quieter than usual. and i saw her. she was kneeling down but her hands were lifted up, like in those praise and worship sessions, singing gustily. i don't know. seeing her singing like that was so... uplifting. thinking that, hey, despite me thinking that the hymns i planned are so sucky, there is someone somewhere who can connect with it, that it means something to that person. sweet. i really hope that the choir can continue to really touch people like that.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
100 things about me
i'm procrastinating at the moment, in case y'all don't know. FINALLY finished clearing off su hui's answers.
01. favorite color: red
02. favorite drink: cold, sweet and not too gassy
03. favorite computer accessory: my laptop
04. favorite cookie: famous amos chocolate chip n pecan
05. favorite author: hmm... ... ...no fav.
06. favorite beatle: not into insects *wink*
07. favorite chipmunk: both of them
08. favorite ice cream: vanilla and chocolate mixed
09. favorite lover: my darling clayton holmes aiken!
10. do you believe in love at first sight: after reading and watching so many romances, it's hard not to.
11. do you wash your hands after you go to the bathroom: yes. hygiene sia
12. do you put empty cartons back in the fridge: no! i'd get in trouble with the parents
13. do you do things you know you shouldn't: ya. like now. slacking when i should be studying
14. do you take responsibility: if i really have to
15. do you associate with people you don't even like: no.
16. do you have any psychological disorders: i'm sure i have but i don't know bout it.
17. do you drink diet soda: yes. trying to lose weight
18. have you broken the law: *heehee* not answering that
19. have you had one too many to drink: i don't drink
20. have you stuffed cocoa puffs up your nose: crazy. i don't even eat cocoa puffs
21. have you graduated high school: sadly yes.
22. have you bitten someone until they bled: maybe when i was a kid. don't really remember
23. have you ever stolen a street sign: aren't they all fixed down?
24. have you ever been in a food fight: hmm... ... ... maybe
25. what are you not doing: what i should be doing
26. what are you talking about: nothing
27. what are you wearing: tshirt. shorts
28. what are you craving: slacking
29. what are you lacking: slacking time
30. what are you going to do after this: no idea. watch the movie i borrowed?
31. what are you dependent on: air
32. what are you hoping: that i'll be motivated enough to do my readings
33. what are you reading: this post
34. what are you listening to: "chi lun" by zhao wei
35. last movie you saw: "coyote ugly"
36. last person you touched: shook hands with someone, parents' friend that i don't know.
37. last person you yelled at: my choir
38. last person you told you loved: oh god. do i really have to answer this? haven't gotten over the fact that i did such a stupid thing.
39. last thing you drank: milo
40. last year, you were: happier
41. last time you were on the phone: short while ago
42. last song you heard: "chi lun" zhao wei
43. do you want to get married/divorced: well, we have to be married before divorce can happen
44. do you want to have children: we'll see
45. do you want to tell certain people off: don't i wish
46. do you want to be somewhere else: yes. lake district, england
47. do you want to be someone else: hell ya.
48. do you want to be famous: wannabe sg idol here
49. do you want to go for a walk: in singapore weather? you kidding me?
50. do you want to hug anyone: yes. i want a hug.
51. do you want to make a difference: that would be nice.
52. how do you feel about president bush: crazy bugger
53. how do you feel about the internet: love-hate
54. how do you feel about your family: love-hate
55. how do you feel about your friends: love. haha.
56. do you like jelly beans: can live without it
57. do you like it when it rains: if i'm indoors, yes. and if it's for a short while
58. do you like to drive: i dream of driving like initial d
59. do you like to eat out: no. can't decide what to eat.
60. do you like being home: if i'm alone
61. do you like the people (or animals) you live with: i will survive
62. do you like emo: when i'm in the 'soap opera' mood.
63. do you like Microsoft: love-hate
64. do you like your name: well, i didn't change it when i could. so...
65. worst feeling in the world: overwhelming fear
66. worst color combination: clay aiken's golden striped tie AND blue striped shirt outfit. pure gross-ness
67. worst color: neon green in a non-retro setting
68. worst thing about people: they all have their dark sides
69. worst element on the periodic table: everything?
70. worst disease / infection to get: common cold. and anything itchy.
71. worst position to sleep in: anywhere not on my bed
72. I am not: who you think i am
73. I love: in vain
74. I hate: people who say "if you don't convert, you'll rot in hell forever and ever"
75. I fear: death, dying and zombies
76. I hear: music
77. I crave: to be more than i am
78. I cry: alone
79. I care: too much sometimes
80. I feel alone: most of the time
81. I drive: myself nuts
82. I sing: out loud
83. I dance: when no one's looking
84. I write: seldom
85. I play: when i feel like
86. I miss: love
87. I search: for answers to life
88. I learn: that sometimes there are no answers
89. I feel: nothing
90. I know: what i know
91. I need: a hug
92. I succeed: in my dreams
93. I dream: to be more than i am
94. I wonder: why i'm here
95. I want: to turn back time
96. I have: electronic gadgets
97. I give: too much or nothing at all
98. I fell: in love with the wrong person
99. I fight: a losing battle
100. I say: sometimes god reaches down and pulls the wings off his butterflies.
01. favorite color: red
02. favorite drink: cold, sweet and not too gassy
03. favorite computer accessory: my laptop
04. favorite cookie: famous amos chocolate chip n pecan
05. favorite author: hmm... ... ...no fav.
06. favorite beatle: not into insects *wink*
07. favorite chipmunk: both of them
08. favorite ice cream: vanilla and chocolate mixed
09. favorite lover: my darling clayton holmes aiken!
10. do you believe in love at first sight: after reading and watching so many romances, it's hard not to.
11. do you wash your hands after you go to the bathroom: yes. hygiene sia
12. do you put empty cartons back in the fridge: no! i'd get in trouble with the parents
13. do you do things you know you shouldn't: ya. like now. slacking when i should be studying
14. do you take responsibility: if i really have to
15. do you associate with people you don't even like: no.
16. do you have any psychological disorders: i'm sure i have but i don't know bout it.
17. do you drink diet soda: yes. trying to lose weight
18. have you broken the law: *heehee* not answering that
19. have you had one too many to drink: i don't drink
20. have you stuffed cocoa puffs up your nose: crazy. i don't even eat cocoa puffs
21. have you graduated high school: sadly yes.
22. have you bitten someone until they bled: maybe when i was a kid. don't really remember
23. have you ever stolen a street sign: aren't they all fixed down?
24. have you ever been in a food fight: hmm... ... ... maybe
25. what are you not doing: what i should be doing
26. what are you talking about: nothing
27. what are you wearing: tshirt. shorts
28. what are you craving: slacking
29. what are you lacking: slacking time
30. what are you going to do after this: no idea. watch the movie i borrowed?
31. what are you dependent on: air
32. what are you hoping: that i'll be motivated enough to do my readings
33. what are you reading: this post
34. what are you listening to: "chi lun" by zhao wei
35. last movie you saw: "coyote ugly"
36. last person you touched: shook hands with someone, parents' friend that i don't know.
37. last person you yelled at: my choir
38. last person you told you loved: oh god. do i really have to answer this? haven't gotten over the fact that i did such a stupid thing.
39. last thing you drank: milo
40. last year, you were: happier
41. last time you were on the phone: short while ago
42. last song you heard: "chi lun" zhao wei
43. do you want to get married/divorced: well, we have to be married before divorce can happen
44. do you want to have children: we'll see
45. do you want to tell certain people off: don't i wish
46. do you want to be somewhere else: yes. lake district, england
47. do you want to be someone else: hell ya.
48. do you want to be famous: wannabe sg idol here
49. do you want to go for a walk: in singapore weather? you kidding me?
50. do you want to hug anyone: yes. i want a hug.
51. do you want to make a difference: that would be nice.
52. how do you feel about president bush: crazy bugger
53. how do you feel about the internet: love-hate
54. how do you feel about your family: love-hate
55. how do you feel about your friends: love. haha.
56. do you like jelly beans: can live without it
57. do you like it when it rains: if i'm indoors, yes. and if it's for a short while
58. do you like to drive: i dream of driving like initial d
59. do you like to eat out: no. can't decide what to eat.
60. do you like being home: if i'm alone
61. do you like the people (or animals) you live with: i will survive
62. do you like emo: when i'm in the 'soap opera' mood.
63. do you like Microsoft: love-hate
64. do you like your name: well, i didn't change it when i could. so...
65. worst feeling in the world: overwhelming fear
66. worst color combination: clay aiken's golden striped tie AND blue striped shirt outfit. pure gross-ness
67. worst color: neon green in a non-retro setting
68. worst thing about people: they all have their dark sides
69. worst element on the periodic table: everything?
70. worst disease / infection to get: common cold. and anything itchy.
71. worst position to sleep in: anywhere not on my bed
72. I am not: who you think i am
73. I love: in vain
74. I hate: people who say "if you don't convert, you'll rot in hell forever and ever"
75. I fear: death, dying and zombies
76. I hear: music
77. I crave: to be more than i am
78. I cry: alone
79. I care: too much sometimes
80. I feel alone: most of the time
81. I drive: myself nuts
82. I sing: out loud
83. I dance: when no one's looking
84. I write: seldom
85. I play: when i feel like
86. I miss: love
87. I search: for answers to life
88. I learn: that sometimes there are no answers
89. I feel: nothing
90. I know: what i know
91. I need: a hug
92. I succeed: in my dreams
93. I dream: to be more than i am
94. I wonder: why i'm here
95. I want: to turn back time
96. I have: electronic gadgets
97. I give: too much or nothing at all
98. I fell: in love with the wrong person
99. I fight: a losing battle
100. I say: sometimes god reaches down and pulls the wings off his butterflies.
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